Tuesday, August 2, 2011

TWO YEARS AND COUNTING!!!

2 years ago, tonight at 10:30pm, my water broke. I didn't realize that is what happened, since, with my 3 older children, my water had never broken on it's own. I thought nothing of it and went to bed. Little did I know, that night would begin a roller coaster of events, emotions and faith testing that I don't think I could have EVER prepared for. In just 48 hours Micah will be 2 years old and once again I will know the joy of celebrating another year of his incredible life. His enterance into this world is something I could have never predicted. He, like his siblings, was not a planned blessing; but a welcomed surprise from God. I saw my doctors throughout my pregnancy and no one told me that I should be concerned for his health. I was only told that his heart beat was strong and he was growing on schedule.

Without a second thought, I packed up my family and followed my husband to Germany. We began settling in to our new home and counting the weeks until we thought Micah would come. But 3 weeks before his due date everything changed. He arrived by emergency c-section and I never heard his cry. Though they brought a bundle of bankets to me, I never saw him. When I asked what was wrong I was put to sleep. When I awoke I was told my baby was no longer with me but 2 hours away in Nurnberg. The fear on my husband's face told me something was very wrong. Later I would find out just how wrong.

With the help of his incredible unit we were transfered back to the States faster than I could have imagined possible. Soon Micah and I were in Boston and we were given "The Plan". Take him home, love him, care for him, KEEP HIM CALM, bring him back at 3 months old and they would repair his heart. We did all of this and Micah thrived!! He gained weight and grew stronger faster than the doctors expected. The day Jason and I handed him to the OR nurse was the hardest day of my life. Kissing his little head and silently begging God to give him back to me was the hardest thing I have ever done.

We paced the OR waiting room watching the minutes and hours tick by. Hope and terror every time I saw the Notifying Nurses walk near and then pass, or come with an update of Micah's surgical pogress was beyond stressful. I think back to that day and wonder how we made it through. After 6 1/2 hours Dr. Fynn Thompson came to see us. He said Micah's TOF was unlike any he had seen before and that he could not save his Pulmonary Valve and that Micah was in total heart block. He was hooked up to an external pace maker and there was hope that as the shock of surgery wore off his heart would again beat on its own. After another hour we were finally able to see him again. He had tubes and wires coming from everywhere. There were machines tracking everything his body did. Though those things were there, I did not acknowledge them. All I saw was my sweet baby boy PINK!!!

Over the first 3 months of his life he had slowly begun to turn grey. His fingers and toes were a light shade of blue. These colors became his "normal". I would bring him to his doctor appointments and they would test his oxygen levels and he remained steady between 85-90%. I looked up at his monitors beside his bed and saw the most beautiful number...100%. Micah was finally getting enough oxigenated blood to his ENTIRE body!! God had guided Dr. Fynn Thompson's hands to fix my son's heart.

Since that day MANY more roller coaster moments have happend. Collapsed lungs, Cardiac arrest (TWICE), pace maker placement, pneumonias, feeding tube placements, massive infections in his stomach, abdomen and lungs, many terrifying nights begging God to keep Micah breathing until I could get him to the nearest hospital where someone could help him. Many times I have had to hand him to someone else so he could get the help he so desparately needed, help I could not give him. Each time I held my breath hoping and praying that he would be given back to me.

Now, in just 2 days, Micah will be 2 years old. He is strong and healthy, active and playful, sweet and loving. I know we still have many more adventures ahead, some in the near future and some many many years down the road. I know giving my son to another person will never get easier, but I know God is watching over my little man and that He is faithful in His love and care of my son, His precious gift to me.

Happy Birthday my darling boy!!!

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